NNRL Top 10 – When Nature Calls
It it is well-known fact that a male hippopotamus can not hold a full bladder for more than 22 seconds and it is even less time if he needs to go from the other end – for those that don’t understand the reference, we are talking about number twos.
While a male man is expected to be able to hold on to their full bladder and their excrement for a lot longer than 22 seconds, sometimes when nature calls you just gotta go with the flow. In this edition of Top 10s we look at the top 10 players who have has issues when nature called.
10. Anthony Tupou
Does anyone remember when Anthony was playing in the Australian test colours? No I didn’t think so. We do remember his time spent at Bondi though, as it was marred with indiscretions. The one indiscretion helps him make this list…being caught with his pants down in a public place and the wee fella hanging out which went down on a team trip to Port Macquaire.
9. Willie Mason
Willie, who is aptly named when sitting in this list was too on the team trip above with Mr Tupou. Big Willie took it upon himself to help his team with his fear of peeing in public by whispering sweet nothings into his ear while allegedly held hands and both urinated on a wall. Some say it was sweet of Willie to help a mate out. The cops did not.
8. Terrance Seu Seu
On a fateful night in Manly back in 2011 young Terrance Seu Seu was another caught with his pants down, one of his heads in the gutter and he unfortunately paid the price, literally on both accounts. Seu Seu copped a $200 fine from local law enforcement as well as a week’s salary by the Sea Eagles. A very expensive piss.
7. Anthony Watmough
With Terrance on that fateful night back in 2011, Anthony Watmough was too caught with his pants down. Like the two members of the Roosters above, Watmough was seen to be in a mentoring role that evening. Much like a scene from Big Daddy, Watmough side by side with Seu Seu pissed all over a shop front window. Patrons said Watmough wrote his name in perfect scribe. The pair were two of 11 men caught urinating in the area that night.
6. Sam Tomkins
The newbie to the NRL last season, Tomkins’ first trip to the Gold Coast resulted in a trip to the local police station, where so many NRL greats have been in the past. Names likes, Marshall, Idris, Bird and Taylor were all penned on the especially designed NRL holding cell. Pissing in public seems to be the thing to do while on the sunset strip, and Tomkins is now a full-fledged member of the NRL.
5. Jerry Collins
While his is not a rugby league player, Jerry Collins and his massive gold member went viral when he was caught marking his territory at Jade Stadium before a Bledisloe Cup match back in 2006.
4. Greg Bird
Birdy has had a couple of brushes with the law since 2004, but we don’t imagine he has ever brushed his penis over a police car before.
Bird was caught the night after his wedding leaving a pub and pissing on a cop car, or so the report says. Birds maintains he pissed between the back of his car and the cop car but punters suggest otherwise.
A group of witnesses claim they saw him walkover to the parked and marked cop car and whip it out all over the bonnet. Just how credible these witnesses are is the big question as one man claimed Nate Myles even ran past flinging shit like a zoo kept monkey.
3. Nate Myles
Speaking of Nate Myles and flinging shit like a zoo kept monkey, back in 2009 Nate Myles was caught up in a classic mix up and paid the price. After a function for junior footy, Myles had a few too many drinks, put himself to bed like a responsible adult. What happened next is the unfortunate part.
Myles woke up needing to use the lavatory. He realised it was a serious need to use it and stripped down to nothing just in case things go messy. He opened the door to what he thought was the loo but actually locked himself out of his room. Desperately needing to go he asked the room next to him who declined the large hairy naked Myles, so he did what any man would do. Shit in the corridor.
2. Todd Carney
Toddy Carney is a favourite of NNRL and unfortunately his latest indiscretion has cost him a place in our constant news feed.
While Carney wasn’t really caught out when nature called, in fact he was in the right place to be caught needing to take a piss, he was caught out pissing into his own mouth. Channeling his inner Bear Grylls, Carney decided it was time to hydrate and rather than order another beer from the bar, he thought he would recycle. Good work Toddy!
1. Russell Packer
When it comes to being caught out when nature calls, Russell Packer knows exactly what that means. In 2012 just before kick-off off the infamous “Lets Gone Warriors” game Packer decided to let it rain.
Rather than don the Jerry Collins as above, Packer stood tall with his hands on his hips, looked to his left and let the flood gates open. In a stream that resembled the Huka Falls and from what we have heard, smelled like old asparagus Packer soon become the most famous man caught out when nature calls.
Just to clear it up too, Packer’s jail sentence was not because he pissed on Darren Lockyer’s home ground either.
